A Guide To A Stylish Plus Size Life

September 06, 2016

Bouncing Back from Body Shame
















Dress-C/O Eloquii (Love this one and this one), Shoes (Similar)

A few weeks ago I got reminded that there are some people who don't value me based upon my fatness. I went to an event and got treated less than equal to the other bloggers in attendance due to the fact that I am plus-size. At first I was extremely sad. I fell to a place of sadness that I haven't been in quite some time. I was ashamed, angry and confused. It almost made me question all of the hard work that I had put into my blog over the years. Had I not established myself as a fashion presence in my city? Was the quality of work not up to par? Or do you simply not want to be associated with my fatness? After wrapping myself in the protective cocoon of the plus-size fashion world, I forgot that some straight size people still hold my body in contempt. Either way it through me for a loop and left me extremely vulnerable. I also decided instantly that I wouldn't neither stay at the event or support the event again.

As I started to bounce back I was reminded that I was loved and that the work I do on this blog isn't just for me, it's for my readers, for women who are looking for fashion inspiration, for young girls to know that your body doesn't have to be perfect in order for you to love yourself or even dress yourself. I simply want to inspire people to get up and get dressed no matter what size you wear!

I was also reminded of somethings that I promised myself a while ago about my body. I will never feel bad about my body.  I will never treat my body less than kindly. I will never seek anyone's permission or validation about my body. I will never allow someone's narrow view of beauty and fashion define my idea of beauty or fashion. I will never let the size of my body dictate what I wear or don't wear. I will never let anyone keep me from living in my truth in fashion. I will stay true to my body and it's purpose on earth. I will continue to encourage my readers to love their body and to understand they deserve the best. I will continue women to wear what makes them happy and to love themselves no matter what!

I want to send a huge thank you to the team at Eloquii, they had provided me with a wardrobe for this event, since I was going to do a video diary about it. Since that didn't happen, I went to them to tell them about my experience and once again I was wrapped in the cocoon of love by their team. Instantly they wanted me to know how they could help and who they could complain too. They are like family to me and they truly, truly care about their customers! ( Nope this isn't a sponsored post, just want y'all to know). For that I am forever supportive of their efforts in the industry!

Have you had any reminders of your fatness? How did you deal with it?
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18 comments

  1. I am sorry that this happened to you, You are an amazing person and it is sad that people can't see beyond our weight. Have a great day and remember that you are loved..xoxo
    Farrah

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  2. I am glad that you bounced back from the situation and are sharing your experience with others.

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  3. When the lane is not provided or appreciated, we CREATE/ and stay in our own! eventually those same people will claim they know you! Let's work boo!

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  4. I'm so sorry you were made to feel that way. Because I think you're dope AF! I was pointing you out on your Redbook cover to the cashiers in Publix! Trust, you have people rooting for you!

    But the way I look at blogging in a whole in Birmingham is that it's truly inclusive and cliquish. And there will NEVER be blogging events here like say Atlanta, because the PR firms only want to invite their personal girl squads.

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  5. Thank you for having the courage to stand up for yourself, and our community.

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  6. It really sucks that this happened! You are such a good writer and you're an equal. We are here because of what you do and who you are. So never let that be a question of doubt! Take care and thank you!

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  7. Sweet friend! I'm so proud of you for sharing this. You are such an inspiration to me and so many others...you have no idea. You keep shining!

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  8. I'm glad you bounced back. Some folks are clueless and heartless with their comments but that comes with the territory when you've been blessed with "greatness". Keep on, keeping on.

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  9. Thank you for letting our city know... it belongs to ALL OF US! Loved the twosie piece you rocked!

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  10. When I first started reading this today, I got so angry. After continuing to read it, I became even more proud of you than I already was. You know how much I admire you and how you have inspired me to do so many things outside of the little box I was living in. You are wonderfully made, gorgeous! Knowing you personally makes my world brighter! Continue to be great!

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  11. So sorry this happened to you. I am now reminded of the scene in Pretty Woman when a certain store and its customers looked down on Julia Roberts because of her profession. This coming on the heels of me watching Unsung on Kelly Price (a must see). The industry looked down on her because of her weight. She achieved her greatness regardless. At any rate, keep on inspiring. We thank you.

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  12. just want you to know that you rock, and inspire me every single day! the way you style and where your clothes is why i come back everyday to see what look you've posted next! keep doing you and thanks for all that you do!

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  13. I'made so sorry you were treated this way. My worst fat shaming moment was when I was walking to a restraunt with friends, and a bunch of guys in a passing car threwith a beer can at me and made cow noises. My friends were great, but it took me a long time to move passed it. Women like you have done so much to help me learn to value myself. Thank you.

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  14. One of the things that your supporters adore is your ability to think outside the box. That's one of the things that makes you a leader. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't have (or won't develop) that ability and their narrow-minded thinking is what caused your problem, not you. Remember, you didn't do one thing wrong. The error was theirs. You are on a mission and if there weren't setbacks, your work would not be needed the way it is. So keep on pushing, lovely lady. The idiots will eventually see sense if you keep showing them what is possible. God bless you.

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  15. I am sorry this happened to you! Great post and keep inspiring.

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  16. This was a very interesting post. I'm sorry that you had that experience.
    www.comfycozyup.com

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  17. That's a shame and ridiculous.
    I am sorry that happened to you.
    Onward and upward!

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  18. I know that feeling and I always try to rationalize the situation as it happens but then, as I look back at all the times I faced those occasions, I know it wasn't my imagination! It sucks and it takes me days before I regain my balance again. You are a very strong,intelligent woman and your sharing has made me feel that I'm not alone.
    Thank you for your inspiring blog!

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